How do I change myself for the better is the question we often ask ourselves in life especially if we recognize we not only want to change aspects of our life but need to change things for the sake of those closest to us.
- How do we improve the relationships we have with our significant others?
- How do we overcome those sabotaging habits that keep us stuck repeating the same old patterns in our life
There is saying by the Chinese Philosopher Lao Tsu….
To know others is intelligence, to know yourself is wisdom. To have mastery over others is strength, to have mastery over your self is true power
It is a powerful truth because the way we improve the significant relationships in our lives is by improving the relationship we have with our self first. The way we create change in our lives is by making those changes within first.
The Wisdom of the Hermetic philosophers sums it up in the Axiom “As Within so Without”
But knowing is one thing, doing is another and this is where we can often get stuck.
We read books, we go to a seminar, we read more books. We feel good for a day or two or even a week but then things slowly slip back into the same routine.
Life doesn’t change on a permanent basis because there is much more work to be done than just the feel good factor of a seminar or good book.
We can get the epihanies from Satori but the real change is triggered by Kensho….
Because there is a lot more lying beneath the surface that we need to get to before the real change can take effect. This is where the real work needs to take place and this is where things can get a little bit uncomfortable.
The key is in releasing emotional energy from the past
We have to release deep seated emotional energy if we want to change our self and consequently change our life. The fact is if we are going to do any serious personal development we have to open our mind to how our mind body and soul actually work.
We can’t run a way claiming it’s all woo woo…..especially men!
We need to understand that events in our past are imprinted on our subconscious mind and the emotional energy produced from these deep lying memories is held in our energetic body which affects our physical body. I’m not going to go in deep with this right now but that is the basic principle at work.
Our thoughts and our emotions are both energy and both are keeping us stuck. When triggered they drive the thoughts we have and the way we feel and hence also dictate our behavior.
Ever wonder why you react to some things the way you do……even if you don’t like it? This is the reason why. Whether we want to admit it or not much of the time we are running on autopilot…..asleep at the wheel!
So finding a way to identify those sabotaging thought patterns and release that emotional energy and neutralize its effect is the key catalyst to creating lasting change.
We need tools
To do this sort of work we really need tools. And we need the support of people who not only know what they are doing but who truly care to help others and we need to do it in a mature and supportive environment.
Just talking things over with a Psychologist once a week is not going to cut it and is the reason why so many people remain stuck or end up with all kinds of addictions.
I was at this juncture myself about 10 years ago….
I was stuck and even though I had some reasonable knowledge on psychology, philosophy and had started practicing meditation and even marriage guidance counselling things were not right in my life.
I was asking myself how do I change myself for the better…..
So I took some action……
A 3 Day Emotional Breakthrough Program
I was recently invited to be an observer on a 3 day program called “Diluting the Icebergs” run by Moving Forward Australia
It’s the program that I did 10 years ago myself.
The tools I learnt on this program have been some of the most effective tools for personal development I had ever come across and I was already a self help junkie before then!
Not only does the program take you through a progressive stage of emotional breakthrough and release but it gives you an understanding of …”how you work”
You get to know yourself in ways you never knew before and in doing so you begin a new relationship with yourself. This process also ignites within you a deeper empathy for others. This can create a whole new dynamic in your relationships with others that you never thought possible before.
Especially the ones you love and care about most.
Importantly the tools learnt on the program can be consistently used afterwards to maintain what you achieve and even go on to make further self improvements.
This has been what I have chosen to do and is why I recommend this program.
There are always alternatives of course. Not everyone will want to go an 3 day program like I did. But I have found through experience that the path to true personal development requires some hard work. It requires us to face some self truth about ourselves that is not always comfortable to face.
One of the tools I learnt from this course that I have used ever since to incredible effect in my life has been The Enneagram. It is perhaps one of the most powerful personal development tools you can use for understanding yourself and others better. Here is an article I wrote How to know yourself using the Enneagram.
This is why I used the word Kensho earlier in this post. To “see one’s nature” is the usual translation for Kensho and it is used in Zen philosophy.
But whatever you choose to do I always recommend people to walk this path if you want true self improvement and not just a cosmetic one. Whether you explore any of my recommendations or find your own.
I wish you much success in your journey…..
I am not a Guru ……
As always I like to be clear that I am not trying to be a Guru. I share the knowledge and experiences I have gained on my life journey in my own way and in my own style. If they resonate with and help you that is the greatest success I can ever hope for.
With Love, Dean